It is time to let go babe...

Letting go is the hardest thing to do.
Not letting go because you have given up or don't believe anymore,
because life has jaded your desires and beliefs,
not letting go because you feel betrayed or angry,
not letting go because it is easier than taking responsibility,
but letting go because you are not in control of things anyway,
you can't control what others think and feel about you,
to demand love nullifies true love,
Of what value are actions and feelings given under threat or constraint?
or out of your own actions of love?
To let go because you want to live in the moment,
to experience life in it's purest form,
both the pain and happiness that comes our way,
to let go and trust in the cosmic flow of our existence,
to experience the little wonders of it all.
To look inside and see our true self,
and bring that power to those around us.
To those we love and those we hate.
No matter what fear or thoughts assail us,
to surf it rather than struggle against the tide.
It's the easiest and most difficult thing to do,
to let go.

A hole in the universe...

'They' found a hole in the universe, a place where there is apparently no matter; is that, technically a place or is it a non place? Would we be able to go to or into somewhere where there is nothing? Of course, by being able to go there we would then have supposedly changed that place/non-place forever; by bringing matter into a place without matter. What would the nature of existence be in an undefined something that has nothing that we are familiar with? 'They' find a gap in the universe and I can't help but wonder about it all again. What's beyond the undefined borders of our universe? Is there more nothing out there beyond the farthest star? All of this is so much bigger than you and I. Here I am, sitting and typing this on a planet that is spinning around on itself whilst hurtling through space in an orbit around the sun; just one star in a seemingly impossible number of other stars forming part of our galaxy which is really a relatively small place compared to the soup of galaxies that compose our universe. How do I compare to all of that? The funny thing is that though I probably don't even show up as a static blip on the radar of it all, yet I feel connected to the essence of it. I have a sense of a greater purpose. It makes me want to laugh out loud, this is why life can never be boring in this wicked cool world we share.

Pregnant vs. no excuse...

This is what happens when 'pregnant brain' meets 'artist brain':

Heather: So, it is raining in Ohio...must be because of the hurricane..
Ciro: Uh-huh...
Heather: Sandy's family lives there...I wonder if they're okay?
Ciro: Oh really? In Ohio?
Heather: Yeah...they even brought the spaceship back earlier....
Ciro: ? Oh...Why didn't 'they' just leave it parked outside Uranus...(thinks Heather is being funny so makes a weak attempt at being funny back)...
Heather: yes, because of the rain...
Ciro: (confused)...in ohio...never realised Sandy's family had a spaceship...
Heather: (laughing) No! The space shuttle...
Ciro: (laughing) yeah...I was quite surprised that Sandy's family has their own spaceship...

Good buddies and Burl the cool...

Ivo and Burl came over to visit Dylan the other day, Sandy tagged along to visit Heather...They play so well together lately...Burl is looking so alert and with it..He has got this cool look going about him...nice play time together...good job guys!

Father's day...

In Taiwan, celebrated on the 8th day of the 8th month...because 8 is ba in Chinese and baba means father...so...We went out and had the most enormous southern cobb salad I have seen in my life. It was pretty cool. Thanks guys fer spoiling me...heehee.

Above: Beautiful Heather...(sigh)

Yoga with Dylan...

I love this... Dylan is a natural yogi....He is often doing spontaneous yoga poses...downward dog seems to be a favorite at the moment...He did this before I started yoga so I reckon it is not form observation. When I do yoga and he hasn't gone to bed or is still asleep he likes to join in with me...without fail he has to join in...

Dylan's celebrity lookalikes...

My celebrity lookalikes?....John Kerry really?

Quote from 'All the names'...

"...,He could choose another record card and go in search of that person instead, Chance doesn't choose, it proposes, it was chance that brought him to the unknown woman, and only chance has any say in these matters, There's no shortage of strangers in the files, But he has no reason to choose one rather than another, one in particular, and not just one of many, It doesn't seem a very good rule in life to let yourself be guided by chance, Regardless of whether it's a good rule or not, whether it's convenient or not, it was chance that put that card in his hands, And what if that woman is the same one, If she is, then that was what chance offered, With no further consequences, when out of the interminable line of consequences that come marching ceaselessly towards us we can only ever distinguish the first, Does that mean something could still happen, Not just something, everything, I don't understand, It's only because we live so sunk in ourselves that we don't notice that what is actually happening to us leaves intact, at every moment, what might happen to us, Does that mean that what might happen is constantly being regenerated, It's not only being regenerated, it's multiplying, you just have to compare the events of two consecutive days, I never thought of it like that, These are things known only to the angst-ridden.' - All the Names by Jose Saramago. I'm reading this at the moment and loving every word of it...thank you Sandy for the loan...:)...

Stacking and packing craze....

D is going through a 'got to stack it' phase...absolutely everything gets put into a line or stacked into little towers... this is serious fun for the little guy. At times fun means 'unstacking' things, violently. So we prepared him a snack, D loves cream cheese or peanut butter on an assortment of crackers plus at times he rather fancies a hash brown but since we can never be too sure that he will eat anything at all we provide all his favorite delicacies on a plate for his little lordship to sample as he so pleases (have I mentioned that he is currently two years old??). Heather and I were speaking about something or other, could have been our up and coming vacation, thus we were distracted for a short time, we finally turned back to find that D had rearranged his plate onto the floor and walked off to find more things to stack and pack in his play room...:)

Above: D stacking Below: D 'unstacking'

Below: Snack in line, perhaps a protestation

Yoga and music...

So haven't blogged fer a while cause things are way too hectic at the moment...There's the baby, which is about 9 cm? I think...Then Heather and Dylan were sick with mega head colds for a week. Pregnant woman plus head cold not good. That was two weeks ago, last week things began to look up but work was hectic since the semester is winding down to an overdue end...lo and behold come Saturday and Dylan caught Oral herpes...Sh*te. Nothing we can do about it since it is viral...just keeping him comfortable and hoping fever doesn't occur. So I've been looking after my two beautiful patients and stressing, Heather will be off work tomorrow to look after D. At least Heather is on the up and up. I've been doing lots of yoga to keep me sane, once a day...and listening to some cool music...My current favourite 'listen to' is an indie band called the 'Silversun pickups', their album 'Carnavas' blows my mind...It's full of musical and lyrical genius that leaves me breathless most of the time. Innovative, unique and some much needed escapism.

'Wild' weekend in Taipei...

So we were off to Taipei last weekend, as the grand finale to mom's visit to Taiwan and incidentally part of the plan was to visit some good Chinese friends in Taipei that we have know for a few good years...We were whisked away on the coolest...well actually it was hotter than hell...weekend to see a part of Taipei we had never experienced before...Wow! What a beautiful place Taiwan is! We drove up to Taipei and booked into one of our favourite group of hotels...just one we had not been to before in an unknown area but we were confident that they were pretty much the same standard. From there we went to the National Palace Museum, we had previously gone there before the renovations...etc..Very cool Museum...Mom loved it...We loved it.

Peggy and Vincent picked us up from the Museum and that was it until Monday...they commandeered our weekend...We didn't mind...they were very gracious and took us to the most stunning places. We zoomed up Yangmingshan first, via a route known well by locals. The view was fantastic...Taipei is massive and very beautiful. It started raining but Vincent just continued up the mountain to some hiking trail he used to frequent as a student...I'm thinking 'there is no way we're going to walk in this downpour' but by the time we got there the downpour had passed and we went off into the hills doing the healthy nature walk thing. I later told Heather that if I hadn't been exercising and doing yoga I would probably have died on the slippery slopes down to a waterfall that apparently ended up being a squirt of water splashing over a rock. We never made it down...at the beginning of my journey had taken off my shoes since I was slipping all over the place and was carrying Dylan who had fallen asleep and would not be roused....We went down down a trail to a waterfall...thinking short walk...everyone told us 15 minutes....45 minutes later and up and down a steep and slippery stone pathway with Dylan wheezing from the humidity and we decided to call it quits...what followed next was a test of determination and parental love as we climbed back to the base camp...drenched in sweat...carrying a 15-16 kg squirming toddler up a mountain path ain't no joke...Crazy thing is we still had a great time and enjoyed the scenic and peaceful Yangmingshan with its deafening buzz of cicadas and rain forest...anyone looking for a sound track for a horror movie should record the disturbing cacophony of these grotesque bugs from Yangmingshan...they won't disappoint. Vincent took us back to the hotel, we were most grateful to catch a shower before going to 'Cha for tea' one of our favourite restaurants here in Taiwan...



Near the hotel Vincent suddenly quips in what must of been the classic Chinese way of modestly informing you of something to be wary of...first Peggy says Vincent has a hotel near his home that we can use next time...we say thanks Peggy...then Vincent says..I paraphrase....'Ahh...nice Japanese restaurants in the area that your hotel is in'...find something good to say about the area and then drop the mind bomb...and then adds without a moments hesitation.....'...yes many Japanese come here to get girls...'...end of conversation. I'm thinking...'oh'. In our hotel room we found conformation of this little factoid so succinctly dropped into our evening revelings...the most bizarre 'chair' I've seen in my life resembling the kind of chair found in a gynaecologist's examination room...only this one vibrated baby!...made watching CNN a little more interesting having my 'gluteus maximus' massaged while I contemplated the state of the world....still a cool hotel though...breakfast included and what a breakfast...I suppose all those Japanese guys need some nourishment after a wild evening plunging against the amazing vibrating contraption of a chair....(smirk)...My mother-in-law thought the chair awfully funny and took a snap of it for friends back home...

Above: Splashing about at Paiwanshan beach

Above: Beautiful coastlines and blue skies...

Anyway...next day we were off to Yeliou...We drove along an amazing coastline that left we knowing why the Portuguese called it a beautiful island so many years ago....We stopped at a beach called Paiwanshan, to see the Taiwanese at play on the beach...interesting...the ocean was beautiful and I splashed with Dylan for a while...Then off again to Yeliou...Wonderful little place with bizarre rock formations from erosion of sand and sea...actually alien like in appearance....Our friends called it 'tofu rock'...there is one rock that looks like the Queen's head in profile. We had some fresh seafood there...the best clams I've ever tasted! We went back after a wonderful but very, very hot time out n the rocks. Our evening was spent in the wonderful Shinlin night market....We do so appreciate and like our Friends Peggy and Vincent...hoping they come visit us sometime here in Taichung...

It was a sad and tearful farewell at the airport on Monday...It was nice to have her visiting us...We all miss her dearly and I'm sure she misses us and this beautiful Island.

Update on pregnancy number 2...

Yup, so Heather is entering her second trimester tomorrow,...and apparently things get better. Poor H has had a bumpy (no pun intended) ride thus far....unlike pregnancy number one which was free from nausea and other common pregnancy woes. Today I felt so sorry for her when she looked at me after a long chat and did a little exclamation of joy at the prospect of reaching the end of the first trimester and supposedly entering a less tiring phase of being pregnant. I hope that this will indeed be the beginning of better time for her.

untitled

What manner of nightmare is this?
That on violent awakening I find myself once again at its start;
The sun stings my skin.
It's orange and red flames choke the burning sky;
this beach where the breakers roll in,
relentless and without mercy,
rush upon the land
like an invading army.
But not over sand, this beach is not soft and silky;
except where time has crushed and ground
the porcelain crockery to colorful
glass-like grains of shimmering prettiness.
These vessels once made in loving piety now
knives that assault the surf and sky.

There on the shore my feet have been ripped
and shredded by shattered beauty,
the fragments of teapots or plates once honored
in some faraway land.
My feet have walked in a circle, a circuit, from sunrise to sunset.
My bloody footprints extending back to remind of a journey,
some washed by the ocean's crushing hands.
I fall onto a rock and wait for you
but the gull's circling betray their allegiance,
and in mocking cries like dark birds of prey
over their carrion cast down their scorn upon me;
to pluck out the eyes from my head.
This an act of mercy, for at my petition they did it,
if only they would erase my memory with it,
or have the skill to rip out my heart through my pleading mouth.
But like Prometheus thus I am accursed to relive this moment again and again.
After unconsciousness to reawaken on this heartless beach once again seeing,
and to see what would break my heart,
cut my soul in half and
split my tongue.

Look and consider,
don't turn away from my suffering in disdain or disgust.
The heavy croak of dry tears in my throat,
as I plead for mercy on that bloodied rock,
the hollow and sticky tap of beaks picking at my hollowed eyes.
For as surely as the sun will sink below its rim
I will live to die again,
and with newborn eyes
behold that which will tear me asunder
from that no mercy is given.

Sun Moon Lake and Puli Part 2.

We stayed at the most beautiful guest house ever....Nestled in the sun lake valley...that was drained by the Japanese in order to relocate people from the moon valley when they built the dam.....blah blah. The valley floor is made of...get this 'peet'! About 70 or so meters deep! Some of it on the surface is floating on a spring so you can 'surf' on the peet as it rolls this way and that under your feet.... Everything about Redwood Cottage is absolutely brilliant....fresh air....great rooms....excellent host (called woody).....superb Chinese style breakfast.....homey and spectacular at the same time. Heather and her mom were in blissful euphoria about the place and Dylan had a fantastic time hanging out in the 'wild'. He chased some chickens around the lawn and made a new friend....'Sophie' the dog....mmmmm perhaps that name is off the list if we end up having a girl.

We spent our second day touring around the lake...here are some photos...

Above: The kiss....Dylan has been super affectionate of late....walking down from the pagoda he gave me a nice big kiss....love you too Dylan!

Up into the mountains...

I saved a carp! Spotted by my mother in law in one of the side of the road drain/canals...it was flapping about in a centimeter of water or so...I grabbed the poor thing and ran off trying to find a pond or something...much to the amusement of the Taiwanese.....Found a pond and chucked it in....it swam happily away and I felt pretty good too. Dylan loves feeding the fish....and there was so much carp in the pond at the park that I must say I can't blame the fish I saved for trying to escape the overcrowded conditions....

Above: Feeding the fish...a lot of fish...

Above: Heather snapped this beautiful pink Dragonfly.

Old Profile

Here is a part of my profile that I'm removing...I seem to change my profile a lot...

I value love and honesty, both of which have to be more than just words to be worth anything worth having. Love is about ones actions, it's mantra is 'there are no obligations nor rules but I choose to love because my love is real'. It is stronger than the 'he or she will never know' moments that assail us day to day, whether it be a flirtatious glance from someone passing by or an illicit thought, because it thinks of the other and values the relationship and partnership found in being one. Honesty is the laying bare of ones soul. To have the bravery and strength to admit error and to ask for forgiveness. To see ourselves as we really are. Not to give in to the lies that tear us down - for we are worth it, we are lovable, we are beautiful - and to have humility in our strengths.May we all have the grace and strength to end our own destructive behaviour whatever it may be. Blessed be and merry meet.

The dream.

Just talk,
taking a walk.
As it was, down the lanes
of shared memories.
Squat here and count out the shells and pebbles
from some forgotten beach.
All the trinkets found over time,
piling up and gathering rust.
Old post cards from distant places,
photographs of once familiar faces.
The grass is green and sky is sunny,
The flowers nod their heads in taciturn and unlamented charm.
You are there and so am I,
just taking a walk as the world goes by.

Out and about over Dragon boat weekend...

We had a fantastic weekend over Dragon boat...though I didn't eat a sticky rice dumpling one of my favorite things to eat over this festival... We ended up going to the Art and Science Museums simply because these are family friendly spaces...D ate an ice cream at the science Museum...here are some pics...

Above: Dylan with his favorite book at the moment...he holds it up to your face to see what you look like as a lion or zebra...

Shrek the Third...

We went to watch Shrek the Third which was okay... D is a big Shrek fan...we are so proud of him sitting through another Movie theatre experience...He really seems to enjoy the expereince...popcorn....juice...it was cool!

Painting with Dylan...

So we bought D a paint set...thanks to Crayola Non-Toxic watercolours....yipeeee! We had a ball, us three playing around with some paint on a A2 paper...Dylan 'got it' quite easily thought he mostly preferred to put more and more water into the paint tray...soon however he was making his mark...kinda worried since he has been watching Curious George a lot of late and always coos in approval when George doe s his wall painting stint...