Monday night and it has been pretty much the same...

So...here is an update of what is happening in my life...I've been playing with Dylan in his playroom and am a little bushed....thus forgive me if a sound a little out of breath...Monday is almost always blue...thus today was no different...Dylan thinks I'm a tree because he climbs up to my head and sits on my crown...this... with me holding him otherwise he would surely fall ( I add this for all of you that might get the wrong idea and think D is a 'child prodigy acrobat'...)...He knows no fear...my Dylan. I had a good morning...productive...but I've been suffering from a stuffy nose and painful sinuses...plus I've been on medicine for about two weeks and the meds are beginning to effect my emotions and judgement....AARRGGHHH...sorry, I get frustrated...I feel abrupt and moody at times and then all sad and morose...this is not my natural state. Oh well...enough! Our friend Sandy loaned us her 'Curb your enthusiasm' discs....very good...seriously. I've inadvertently adopted a few phrases ...like 'What kind of person does that?'...etc.. er...I think I might be watching too much 'Curb your enthusiasm'... I had a strange thing happen to me this weekend after watching "Meet the Robinsons', which by the way was fantastic, you know some things you can change...but others they're just not up to you...I'm learning to let go and "keep moving forward". (shit... you know it is bad when you garnish life truths from an animation...guess who watches a lot of animations at home because of D)

I'm gonna take a shower with D...our bathtub plug broke and bathtimes for the past two days have been shower times...D loves it...so bath and bed now...

Below: Bathtime

Road trip to Puli and back again...

New cars beg a road trip don't they...so that was what we did. I was sick and on meds so Heather did the driving. We set out on the number 74 and left again onto a familiar route up the number 14 to Puli. We thought we would go to Chingching farm but never actually got there since we had to be back in Taichung by 3:00. That kind of thing doesn't faze us cause we're journey orientated people and like to stop off places...two of which were seven eleven stops...has anyone noticed that they have added these really fabulous seven eleven stops along popular routes with uber toilet and parking facilities...cool idea 7/11 management team. We found a herb farm on the other side of Puli that was really cool...It was a really cool day. On the way back we took the scenic mountain route back through the Dalken area on the 136. We found this temple nestled in a valley in the middle of nowhere in particular though I'm sure to the residents of the particular valley in question wouldn't agree with my opinion. Heather and I have always been the explorer kind and its good to be back discovering and exploring...this time time with a new addition....Dylan is really just like us. Three cheers to our little adventurer.

Above: Lots of tunnels on the number 14...Heather and I have this crazy, amazing, cool bond...we share thoughts at times we're so close...not kidding.....we both come from families that upheld the yell through the tunnel tradition...quite funny actually cause when we went through our first tunnel together we both, to our surprise, started screaming out of the window of the car...Dylan loves this tradition...probably thinks his parents are nuts.

Above: So...there is a light at the end of the tunnel...

Above: Dylan running wild through the nursery at the herb farm.

Above: Beautiful but long and winding road... number 136...

Below: Temple in a lost valley...

Above: Dylan and the dragon.

Above: The scary dog episode...luckily a nun was about and she sorted out the canine..

On happiness

I watched this movie, one of those adapted from theatre kind of slow paced dialogue intensive movies, which was very interesting but unfortunately did not make the transition from my short to long term memory very well .There is only one portion of dialogue I actually remember. One of the main characters, I think it was Dame Judy Dench, remarks that she was happy once and if she had known that that short time would have been it for the rest of her life -her allotted time for happiness- she would have held on to it, as something precious, for as much as she could have. Firstly, I remember this specific part because when she delivered this line it was done with such poignant bitter-sweat beauty and truthfulness and, secondly, I remember it because I remember thinking that sometimes scriptwriters come up with total nonsense and rubbish. At that time I was the happiest I've ever been and could see no end to happiness. I remember saying that I had never been happier in my life, which is quite something to say. It was unfathomable,... impossible that I should feel any different. Then fate comes along of course and slaps you across the face into a rude awakening...I entered a part of life where I lost that euphoria of complete satisfaction. Not because of the love of my life or our wonderful toddler...those are beautiful constants in my life, and anchor me in times of despair but because of a growing dissatisfaction in what I'm doing in life. Those words from the forgotten movie drifted out at me and I realised that whoever wrote those few lines must have had some sort of life experience as reference. Luckily my experience hasn't been as extreme as the character in the film, the thought of the cruelty of complete happiness in place and profession and then just nothing else...not despair but just existence is a very scary idea. Heather has helped my evaluate things. At times by just listening to my complicated thought processes...thank you for being my rock love...and I've been trying to accomplish my dreams in the creative area...(note: one eyed kat is just a diversion...), and slowly I am finding a passion I had previously lost...In so many areas I'm happy, learning and growing...Dylan and Heather give me joy and make me essentially happy...they complete me, keep me growing and challenge me to new heights...I'm living the moment again and not dwelling on what has been...feels pretty damn fantastic actually...Gotta love life babe...its a fun journey with my soul mate and cool tod....and I am really thankful.

I don't know what the chinese says but I was thinking about happines and things when I looked up and saw this sign...made me laugh and resolve things...

untitled...

This poem has been about three years in the writing...I stapled the pages shut then, guess I should have written it out but...I suppose I've come full circle to it once again...here goes...hope it is enjoyed as poetry and not as necessarily biographical or whatever...

He once dreamt that in everything he could be enough
since she was for him.

Once believed, once held
words to hold, words old
in tears, in laughter
words shared
promises
promises
promises
vessels for our insubstantial thoughts
our predilections
our inadequacies
our flights of fancy
our sadness
our moments of happiness
our lips mouth the sounds
from the pictures and thoughts our hearts and souls have created
but when our words fail
when our hope is gone
our heads swell in the silence perched like a bird of death in our mouths
our dry parched barrenness
so I ask
what meaning can be expressed
in
disappointment

On Thursday night...

Heather and Dylan are in bed. Heather came home with a migraine and was not well at all. I had cooked up a kind of stir fry with vegetables and bacon served with rice, Swiss sausage and egg. Sounds strange I know...but damn it was good food. I rubbed her back and neck with 'woodlock', she took two painkillers and whilst lying with Dylan passed out. She was really tired this morning and I think it was the combination of a stressful week, lack of sleep and the bad air that took its toll. We were talking yesterday during a very short lunch break and I looked up at her from my reclining position on the carpet; I looked into her hazel eyes and realised that she is the vital glue that keeps us together. She is the ethereal matter that binds us as a family, keeps us working, living peacefully and in happiness. I love her like no other...she is everything to me and I appreciate everything she does... goodnight now.

On a black and white bathtime picture

On Easter Sunday, eggs and big white rabbits...

Yeah...Heather made these really awesome hot cross buns...without the crosses...but no loss to quality! Some friends came over for an 'egg hunt' ...for Dylan and their Tod Ivo. Dylan and Ivo are buddies...We had a great time...Ivo was the great egg hunter...Dylan, well...the chocolate inside the first egg took all his attention away from the game...no worries though cause it was great fun nevertheless... Sandy and Ryan have just got a new addition to the family (about a month ago...I think)...Burl is Ivo's baby brother...and I don't think I have ever seen a more content baby than Burl...plus he is very cute....content and cute...cool combination....was i alliterating....sorry. Here are some photos...

Above: The spoils of treasure hunting...

Above: Heather enjoying Dylan...I have a cute family...

Above: Sandy, Ryan and Ivo share an Easter moment...

Above: Ivo examines one of his Easter eggs...coool!

Above: Ryan with Burl and Ivo.

Above: The joys of chocolate and friendship...

On Dylan and Macmac the weathered wooden giraffe

He loves 'Macmac'...it's like his compatriot and partner in crime. Where Dylan goes along Macmac is dragged. Our son has grown an affection for our wooden giraffe ornament/sculpture...Heather and myself had bought it on our honeymoon...to remember the amazing little misty cabin hidden up on a mountain peak somewhere in Mpumalanga. We would awaken every morning surrounded by a sea of mist, have some coffee... ;) ....

Anyway I'm not sure whether Macmac appreciates the sudden infatuation and his new position as Dylan's security toy...but it sure is cute.

Above: Dylan in his usual happy mood.

Above: Dylan with Macmac.

Above: Dylan hugging his ol' pal...

On 'Tomb Sweeping' long weekend.

It has been a cool weekend thus far...hanging out with Heather and Dylan around the greater Taichung area. We went to Chingshui on Thursday to the Sea Port Art Museum. It was closed...but the grounds were open and we had a great time... So much so that we have decided that we will go back. The grounds were filled with children's art, Heather thought it was because of Children's day on Wednesday...any case Dylan had a very cool time running and wandering around touching and playing with things. We had coffee at the little restaurant on the grounds, we're lengthening the 'leash' on Dylan...giving him more freedom to explore the environment by himself...he doesn't just sweep around like a baby tornado much anymore but still has no concept of what could be potentially dangerous...what worries us is his concept of height...He is so cool though and we were very proud of him...he is listening to us and responding to what we say. We rode off to the harbour afterwards...tons of fish at the Wuci fish harbour...market thing place. We had our favourite...barbecued squid on a stick...some deep fired calamari and crab....yum...yum.

Above: Dylan in the garden of earthly delights...

Riding past some cemeteries is always interesting but on these few days there is the added activities of the local people cleaning and tending the tombs of their ancestors...lots of smoke in the air and ghost money pinned tot he tombs.

Yesterday morning we went to metropolitan park for a run and 'mini picnic'...we had some juice and two bags of crisps. Very cool place...and its huge...Dylan got so tired and grumpy by the time we had to come home after all the running around...We decided to get some steak and noodles for lunch at a favourite place near Art street.

Today were going to go see a house that a friend found...we are not looking to move but if its really nice will probably consider it...the house is in a cool and vibrant area not too far from where we are now so it will be a nice change.

On 'A noite passada' - last night

«A noite passada acordei com o teu beijo

descias o Douro e eu fui esperar-te ao Tejo

vinhas numa barca que não vi passar

corri pela margem até à beira do mar

até que te vi num castelo de areia

cantavas "sou gaivota e fui sereia"

ri-me de ti "então porque não voas?"

e então tu olhaste

depois sorriste

abriste a janela e voaste

8

A noite passada fui passear no mar

a viola irmã cuidou de me arrastar

chegado ao mar alto abriu-se em dois o mundo

olhei para baixo dormias lá no fundo

faltou-me o pé senti que me afundava

por entre as algas teu cabelo boiava

a lua cheia escureceu nas águas

e então falámos

e então dissemos

aqui vivemos muitos anos

9

A noite passada um paredão ruiu

pela fresta aberta o meu peito fugiu

estavas do outro lado a tricotar janelas

vias-me em segredo ao debruçar-te nelas

cheguei-me a ti disse baixinho "olá",

toquei-te no ombro e a marca ficou lá

o sol inteiro caiu entre os montes

e então olhaste

depois sorriste

disseste "ainda bem que voltaste"»

0

Sérgio Godinho

1

Muito obrigada a Margarete para isto no 'Acknowledge (or whatever) yourself'.

On a tribute to my grandfather: Actions are so much louder than words

I have been thinking a lot about my grandfather Ventura of late. My grandfather, my father's father was an unusual man. He was one of those people that seem larger than life by their very presence, and not by their seemingly inexhaustible energy, exuberance or loud abrasive behaviour. He was like a deep river carrying along wisdom and life everywhere he went. His hawk like roman features weathered by the elements. He was a man familiar with hard work, struggle and loss. I remember how after my grandmother passed he would make his way to her grave site faithfully, devoted. He would tend her grave lovingly as if it was his dear wife. He had eyes that would pierce right through you. Near the time he passed away my father brought him over to visit. I think he knew it was nearly time for my grandfather and wanted us to have some time with him before it was too late. Near the end of his visit he decided to work in the garden. He would not be dissuaded. Old and fragile he trimmed back an overgrown thorn bush that had encroached the side of the house. His skin torn and back bent, my father pleaded with him to stop and rest but my grandfather would have nothing of it. I remember him lying on his bed, weary but content. He looked at me over his hawk like nose. At the time I didn't understand that he was teaching us. He was letting his actions instruct us. Actions are so much louder than words. His lesson was about doing the right thing, about having passion until the end. It was about doing the hard work that sometimes life requires and not stopping until the goal has been achieved. I loved him then and I still do. That summer I planted a lemon verbena tree in the garden and made him some tea from its leaves. It was invigorating and I could see he was pleased. My grandfather, a champion of life.